Saturday, September 15, 2007

Tuning: Way Back Into Love - Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett
Time: 5.49am
Mood: Disappointed

i guess i must be really in a bad shape huh. almost everyone has been asking if i'm okay. i know i'm worrying people out and i don't know why. don't i look fine? i think Dan gotten be the most worried among all. worrying that i might have endless of nightmares, depriving me from my beauty sleep and my essential rest. am i in such a rotten state? indeed i'm. i'm so stressed up that i couldn't even sleep at all. Dan has always tell me to stop acting like i'm strong and okay cause he will never buy it. so i guess i'm must be a lousy actor. i thought i could get away like this forever.

i don't see why you guys are worried. don't worry, my appetite have grown bigger and better over the month. other than sleep, i'm doing well. work, play, study. it's great, really. i'm hanging out with my old friends now, i'm not afraid breathe a word about the tragic. i'm fine. really. =) trust me alright.

anyway, speaking of Dan. i somehow feel he's Jacob. i'm Bella, fallen out of a love, escaping from the reality, seeking comfort from a safety harbour, secretly wishing for Edward's return. i feel guilty for accusing him of using me, and yet he was the one who apologised. but i guess it should be the opposite now. similarly, like how Bella never crease to be amazed by Jacob. i never was once disappointed by Dan, eliminating his constraints due to national service. he has actually been there always, be it what happened, having the ability to read my mind, just like how he did.

i don't know, the courage i've always managed to gather always comes from Dan. i feel i don't have to put on a facade in front of him, cause he have seen through me thoroughly. i really love it when i can rely on him as much as i want. and it really feels great to know that no one are relying on you. it is that tad tiring to have someone being so dependent on you.

sometimes, i somehow find myself relating to the story. two perfect guy. one whom you love so much till you can never let go but he was the one who inflicted too much pain in you. the other, the one you can always turn to, the guy who will always be there, to take you in regardless of what happened. you can always see him right before you.

i realised that this two perfect man are so beautiful~
i think i gotten myself a best friend and a true love.

loved on 9:16 PM