Monday, December 31, 2007
Spinning: Tattoo - Jordin Sparks
Time: 1.22am
Mood: too confusing to be shared
i totally have no idea when was the last time i really bothered to blogged. my life has been entirely occupied by family, kelvin, work and friends. academic aside for the meantime.
it's 31st December today. i wish to pen somethings down that have been kept in my heart today. 2008, new year, new resolutions.
frankly speaking, i'm feeling real negative now. inferior is the word, soul searching is what i must do, time alone is what i need. kelvin and i experienced had a really fierce quarrel last week. he was upset with me for 3 days. for the first time, he rebuked, he ignored me. it was an struggle for me. however, sometimes, human are stupid. you don't know why certain things would happen. just when i thought things would be fine after that horrible tiff, we fought again. don't ask what we did, don't ask what happened. it just happened, it just turned out this way, unexpectedly. things are fine i guess and i surely do hope it is. maybe a little cold shoulder over here and there, but my paranoia attitude has definitely worsen the situation. all i wanna do is, be a good girlfriend.
and for my love, kelvin. i know you will never get to read this piece of shit over here. i just wanna tell you no matter what has become of you, what happened or what you've done. i promise to be here for you, as long as you want me here. i will be giving my best, trying every means to improve our relationship. i might be childish in your eyes, i might not be the best girl you've ever met, but i still thank god for you. there might be times when things are beyond what you can take, it's okay, don't worry. you have another pair of shoulders to help you share that weight that be suffocating you. i'm sorry if i complaint about you, but be assured. i love everything about you and that includes your short comings. just want you to know, i'm serious about you and i wanna us to last.
and for my family. i think the best thing that could happened in life is not what god has given me, its the love my parents gave unconditionally. my family might be small, but our love aren't small at all. my parents are the biggest person in the world. they have taught me many things, in fact countless. i may appear aloof on the outside, but i'm warm on the outside. there are certain times when i wanna hug them and share how much love i have for them. but i'm a coward, i never had managed to gather those courage. don't worry, daddy and mummy, life for me now may appear tough and rocky, but fret not. this daughter of yours has what it takes to be a great person too, just like you both. i'll be somebody, someday. have faith.
work - NBC, my current job has given me lots of pleasures. and also the longest jobs i have ever stayed on. i met many great souls through work. despite of anger, sorrows, fun, my colleagues have been there. they have given me a very happy year, a warm and blissful x'mas. through them, i learn the importance of teamwork, diligence, responsibility, friendship and to support each other. it's not about money, it's about the experience and time spent working together. thank you girls, i learned a lot of you guys. each of you are a great inspiration to me to become a better person. i love you all.
friends, played an important aspect in my life. there are some people out there i really love, but i've never expressed that love for them. i hope to take this chance to make it known to them. the significance ones are: weiting, keng sern, shawn, benedict, jovene, daniel, wee kian, ah mok, amelia and for some others that we are not really close like serene, jacky, yulun. and many others that was there. as you know, this year have been a very tough year for me. it was like a roller coaster ride. mainly over my failed relationship, my screwed up o level maths and tertiary educations and school's friendship problems. i don't know how i can possibly thank you guys. thank you so much for being there when i'm always down, being too emotional and ridiculous. thanks for tolerating my nonsense and my willfulness. thank you for being my friend, my good friend, my best friend, my sisters and brothers. i appreciate every single phone call, every console you guys sent over. there might be time when we are drifting away due to the calling of life, it's okay, just remember our bond, our friendship are always here, they won't be broken easily. i'm sure they can withstand anything that comes our way. =)
and to some people who have once stepped into my life and have walked out. though you might be a mere passerby in my life at that certain point of time. i wanna thank you too, cause your existence have changed me in a way or two. i'm sorry if i've done something to hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally. thanks for beautifying my dull life.
and to that particular someone. thank you for giving me such a beautiful memories that's enough to last me a lifetime. sorry, if i've done you wrong and that upsets you. everything about us were genuine, you don't have to doubt a single thing. but being rational and coming back to reality, it's time to move on. you'll always be in my heart. goodbye.
2007. a year of loss, heartbroken, determination, love, hatred, anger, frustration, confusion, tears, pain allows me to rediscover myself, my life and my surroundings. =)
thank you, god. life's still amazing brilliant.
loved on 6:19 PM
