Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Spinning: Stronger - Kanye West
Time: 2.55pm
Mood: Bored

haha, as expected, i just woke up again. godness, i must be a pig in my previous life. i better do something to my biological clock, school's starting and i can't afford to flung my advanced diploma. =( i wanna be studious! (again, a short lived enthusiasm)

meeting ben for job hunting later on, slacking at airport after which. yesterday, i was telling An'an that i'm planning to switch to beauty and cosmetics related jobs. you know, surrounding by your loves and interests, how perfect! then she advised that politics do exists in those environment and i need to be able to such issues well in order to earn a living or rather survive in those condition. she even shared that her friend who use to work for chanel quit because she was unable to take it. i was like, what the fuck, this is not even a high flyer kind of job. sigh, why must human mind complex everything?

and regarding to the someone. i'm sorry that i was crude with my words last night. i didn't mean to break your heart this way. you know very often, i'm not very good with words. this is not an excuse and i don't intend to use this to path myself a way out of this circumstances. i shouldn't have compared you with kelvin but i can't undo what i've done. i gotta admit that kelvin and someone in my past were what i really want. i know it very well that everyone has their differences when it comes to character and mentality. so does ours. we really do have a problem in our perspectives when it comes to lifestyle. still, i accept you and for you are entirely. but the acceptance comes as a friend and nothing beyond. it's not about the position they stand in my heart, stop your baseless accusation against me. it's about you, just you alone. i need someone to love me the right way, give me space to breathe, give me room to grow. romance is not my thing anymore, i'm no longer a kid, i gotta embrace my adulthood in years to come, i need to learn to think and do what's appropriate. our problem lies on our character, we just can't get along. quit trying to change, changes will only make one lose oneself, it's not gonna work out ultimately. we're just unsuitable, trust me, we will only end up fighting over senseless matters at the end of the day if we're couple. we're like that when we're friends, need i say more if we're an item? give this a seriously thought, you ought to think it over instead of mindless pursuit. romance is not everything, it's really not. there's more to life.

loved on 6:21 AM