Monday, April 7, 2008

Spinning - Wonderwall - Oasis
Time: 12.56am
Mood: feeling extremely joyful but a little weary now

i can't really comprehend life, seriously.

i have so much heart felts in today alone. i feel like life, humans, every happenings, every things are such a big contradictions. you are caught up with all positives and negatives in your dailies. perhaps, this is the only way of living right. nothing is much perfect, so acceptance and accommodate is the key to leading a perfect life. gotta believe that perfection is in the eye of beholder.

i injured my thighs today. i'll refrain from walking for now. it fucking hurts to the core. and i took bus home with bell today. i'm always grateful of that years of friendship which lasted through the difficult days of growing up and pains. despite of all the ups and downs, joys and sorrows, our love for each other are still growing stronger each day. thanks honey for being my love, i'm really pleased to know that i do stand a position in your heart. sorry if i sounded like lesbian. but you should know, since young till now. nothing have change the fact that i don't have much girlfriends. ever since i left cerena they all, i really feel the lack of girls in my life. i envy those who has a bunch of good, lovely, pretty girls friends supporting them, having fun all night long. sometimes i do blame god why i'm blessed with so much males friends instead of females. but come to think of it, i shouldn't take things for granted. though i don't have girls, those guys in my life are really great. they never fail to take care of me, looking upon me as their little sister. and that's enough. i think i should learn to be content. though i gotta say i'm disappointed that i meant nothing at all to them after years of friendship. sadly, i learned that not all people cherish the way like you do. so to all girls who happened to read my blog, whether we are on good terms, or good friends or whatever, you need to know i really do cherish your existence in my life. =) thanks for brightening up my life.

and i also learnt that only endurance brings you to your destination. as you know, i injured myself today. and unfortunately, i have a long way to walk home after dropping off at the nearest bus stop. on my way back, i keep having the urge to just hire at cab home cause the pain was too unbearable. but i keep fighting that thought and pushed myself to walked on. at times, i feel really tired and too painful to go on, i slowed myself down, paced myself, took a little rest and start off again. ultimately, i managed to reached my destination thought it was a little taxing and slower than usual. then i realized the analogy behind this walk applies to the course of life too. sometimes, in life. there are so much things that are beyond our control and pushing us to our limit each time. but do you know, every time your limit is being pushed towards to and being hit. you will subconsciously moved on to the next level and your limitation will be reset to a higher level? so whenever a obstacles comes your way, you tend to rediscover yourself each time. the road of life never will once been smooth but frequently will be filled with negatives. and very often acts as a hindrance to your perfect life. so when you think you're really tired, instead of stressing yourself further, why not that a break and let yourself wonder a bit. of course, not too long because there are too much beautiful stuffs that awaits you at the finishing line.

i'm struggling hard to breathe. i don't wanna be brought down by people for the wrong reasons. you two bitches can go on about me. it just prove how much worth you have for yourself and your character. =) and missing work was purely accidental. i wasn't even aware and being noticed of the changes in schedule. since you have so much things to bitched about me, i'm very glad to be your form of daily entertainment.

to asshole. please don't contact me anymore. you surely got that cheek to contact me after what you did and said. goodness, your skin must be inches thick, i bet it's thicker than an elephant. =p
have a good time washing your layers of face then. take care.

love people, night.

i'm real happy for some reasons which i'm not sharing. hee.. stay curious, till then!

loved on 4:50 PM