Saturday, May 17, 2008

Spinning: Yesterday - Leona Lewis
Time: 10.55pm
Mood: down and mentally drained

to myself: perhaps, you should just stop chasing the rainbow.

countless of things happened lately, apparently, what i see are all the negatives befalling on me. it's okay, what goes down must come up. i'll be doing well in life again before i know it. moreover, what won't kill me will make me stronger. part of growing pain, definitely necessary to mould a mature me.

i wanna take this opportunity, to thank all my lovely friends / colleagues for being there. i don't know how can i ever thank you girls for listening out to me, watching me cry like some pig, or looking at my unpleasant long face. sorry, if i was overacting to this incident, i know i shouldn't let this get the better of me. anyway, to update those who are still aren't aware of the latest news, i've actually tendered. and sorted things out with sok chin. and i seriously think sok chin really make a good leader. impartial and all, she has what it takes to be one good quality leader, i'm serious. now, i'm allow time to decide for me. =) thank mei x2, for helping me out. you know what kay?

sometimes, i ask myself, if i were to remain in this comfort zone and never wanna take a leap of faith and get my ass out there to learn more new things, get different and more exposure, will i be what i've always dream of? like what i saw in my friend's msn nick -If you don't want Criticism. Do nothing, Say nothing, BE NOTHING! so is this where i wanna be? is this where i want my learning journey to end (as in gaining job experiences and such)? guess it's important for human to always make some changes to their normal routine. whatever it is, from this, i learn that some 30 years old woman don't even have their own values, beliefs, principles, perceptions and are manipulated around by people's word, get influenced easily, get swayed here and there by her emotion instability, being irrational and allow mind to run too wild, behaving real superficial and think naively. so it's rather important that woman at this century learn the fact that we need and must stand up for ourselves.

i went out with someone on monday night. though it was really short, i was really happy. i can't describe how it feels exactly. but i can never find them in others. i know that distance that lies between us. i know we have too much unsolved issues, i know what you're thinking. i don't wanna read too much into it. let time do the talking. whatever it is, those familiarities are the best things that can ever happened unto me. and i'm proud of you, you really did managed to thrive out a career of your own already. at least my effort and hope didn't went to waste.

i'm sorry for what had happened. you still have my best wishes no matter what. there's too much on my mind right now in life, too much things waiting to be accomplished. i have my dreams to work towards to. i'm sorry, you'll lead a better life without me.

loved on 2:15 PM