Sunday, June 1, 2008

Spinning: When You Look Me In The Eyes - Jonas Brothers
Time: 12.43am
Mood: Depress

i think i love you.
haven't you realize what you mean to me.
or have you choose to ignored this feeling of mine?

what the i fuck to deserve this. might sound selfish, but i really think it wasn't an issue to start with. it wasn't a date, i'm not hanging on to him anymore, i wasn't cheating or unfaithful. i didn't let you down, so what's the problem now honey? what's eating you? what's making you feel this way? tell me, i wanna know, i wanna ease this tension. i'll do anything, everything to undo any knots in you. are you gonna allow a insignificant person get in our way? are you gonna let a asshole ruin everything? is it worthy of the strain we're going through? think about it, let me know. i made my stand very clearly. i won't sway, i give you my word.

ignore this.

When You Look Me In The Eyes

If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more, I start to realize,
I can reach my tomorrow,
I can hold my head up high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When I hold you in my arms,
I know that it's forever.
I just gotta let you know,
I never wanna let you go.

When you look me in the eyes.

And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.
Oh

ps: i think i'm gonna fucking flunk Journalism. i don't even know a fucking thing! hello supp paper and remodule =(

pps: my nose is like a running tap now. having sore throat too. not a good sign, i'm still doing revision for electronic media. =/

ppps: yes, mei mei dating me for lunch tomorrow. I'm SO GONNA GO LUCKY TO EAT GIRL. I DON'T CARE.

-----------------

Spinning: Inconsolable - Backstreet Boys
Time: 1.59am
Mood: almost shocked to death

OH MY FUCKING GOD!
WHAT THE HELL, ARE MY EYES PLAYING TRICKS OR WHAT?!

MY SECONDARY SCHOOL ACQUAINTANCE IS GETTING MARRIED AT THE END OF THE YEAR! just when i thought it sounds perfectly alright, i friendster-hopped further... and found out she's already a mother and has a kid! just a year missing out on her, i received such an appalling piece of news. thanks man.

GAAAAAAWD~~~~
WHAT THE FFFFUCK?!!!!

WHY ON EARTH ARE PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED AND I'M NOT!
BLOODY HELLLLLL..... okay.
she's not the first you know, you know!! like everyone i know is happily attached in some kind of long term romance or either married with kid already!

i know i'm sounding desperate here. it's not as if i'm as old as that big fat ball at level 3 or looking so awfully bad that it's an eye sore to other's sight. but i just can't help to feel that way, you definitely can't blame me for that?! i'm a girl after all, every girl's dream is to get hitched to a great guy, bear his child and things like that? right or not, ladies?!

now... i think god hates me. he never bless me with a really long long long term kind of boyfriend! at least a boyfriend will do. i don't even have one, forget about marriage. fuck. life's unfair.

i know i know before you guys start shooting me. i know you guys will start thinking, you're so flirt, you're so career-minded, you're can't settle down given your mentality right now, you're so into yourself, you keep changing boyfriends, you're this and that. ya-da-da-da-da. true true, what you guys are mumblings are facts about me.

ps: i don't like it to have my boyfriends changing all the time. i also wish i can have someone i can call of my own. it's okay if people thinks i'm a bitch or whatsoever. because they don't know me. the faithful and loving side of me. what people reads here, decipher here, are all kinda shallow actually. they don't know what's and who's in my heart all along. too bad =p

but do you know, there's a little corner of my heart which yearns for a simple, peaceful, sweet and blissful life? just consisting of my husband, our kids and his family and mine? i SERIOUSLY don't mind spending the rest of my life this way. i know it don't sounds like me but who gives a fuck to my feminist mindset and attitude, my dream penthouse at robertson river, my flashy BMW z4 and porsche, my high flyer career which pays me at least 5000 bucks a month and my branded loves by then! money is incomparable to love and family i tell you. i know life is this contradicting and irony. i'm a big contradiction myself and there are things people really don't know about me. =) it's okay, superficial people shall be pardon =x

well, meanwhile i'm being single and chuck aside, i shall continue loving myself, my family and friends more until i found someone i think i really can depend on. i'm not gonna hunt around or what, that's plain sick and making me look like some old maid. (again, like level 3 =x) love will come to you when the time is ripe. anyway, what's yours will always meant to be yours. no fear people. it's like you-want-you-come, don't-want-sua that kind of thing. i shall remain optimistic, surround myself with lots of love, laughter and most importantly positive vibes. i shall work, study, project, revise, shop, talk cock and be happy till my ass falls off.

still, i feel like getting hitched =(
argh, i'm such an ass, not forgetting a pain in my own ass!

sorry, i think i'm still rather shock. might take a few days to recover.

haha!
good night people.

loved on 2:28 AM