Thursday, June 26, 2008

Spinning: The Time Of My Life - David Cook
Time: 9.08pm
Mood: drained and dried

it has been awhile since i update. there are countless of stuffs running through my mind right now. coming back and forth to remind me constantly. be it the stuffs to do, hunting memories, or troubles. it's there every second of my life. thus, explaining why i'm back here to pen my heartfelt despite of my hectic schedule i'm in.

i'm currently busy with school. really caught up with it. for the benefit of those who aren't aware. my exams are around the corner. will be having journalism paper next wednesday, public relations and electronic media next week, tuesday and thursday respectively. i kinda thank god for my girls in class, they are really great souls. giving endless support and motivation that one will ever need when it comes to life and it's aspects.

casting family, work, relationship matters aside. i didn't know i could be this studious. i started my revision rather early. comparing to those major exams like Os and diploma's. it's getting more productive as days draw near and realizing how beneficial it is to start early rather having to be procrastinating away and giving yourself hell loads of excuses to hit the books. i guess it's all the good energy that's surrounding me and not forgetting the determination and goals that pushing me at the same time.

i have never thought of getting into a university since young. i have never liked studying, to me, it's a utter waste of time and energy. but coming to an age of 19, i'm sensible enough and very clear headed about my needs and wants, my path i wanna take in life. after much consideration and discussion with my parents, honey bunch a little quite moment here and there with myself, i feel that it's essential to get a degree, preferably with a first class honors. if situation allows, it would be a bonus if you choose to pursue your education up to masters. perhaps it's all the society impact and it's pressure that cause me to want to proceed to a higher level of education in order to make a living in the future as times gets tougher. and now, i gotta say education do play a big part in my life. i don't know about you. it changes my angle of perceptions and mentality. it's like a coin with two faces - positive and negative. sometimes, the more you know, the more you discover and learn, the more exhausting the journey of life gets. if you ever get what i mean. :)

after exam i'll be on a job hunt, at the same time, gathering more information for my degree stuffs. most likely will be doing in SIM unless my parents strike a big sum of lottery for me to further my studies overseas. =p i'm be making changes to my life style like being more thrifty, i think i'm a very hardcore shopper. i can buy almost everything. i swear. anyway, speaking of shopping. girls, if you have some extra cash to spare and love higher end wears, go zara and mango. i managed to grab a few pieces of lovely apparels there. sorry, went out of track. back to the topic. other than saving up money, which i've actually made my very first baby step, i think i did quite a fairly good job to be honest. hmmm, i will collaborating exercises regime into my daily routine (I FUCKING NEED TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT!)and everyday after school, the first damn thing i would do is to revise and come up with a bloody mindmaps base on the unit that i was lectured on that day. this way, i wouldn't be panicking like some mad crazy women on the loose when exams are approaching.

hmmm. as for relationship wise. i'm really a sucker for it. seriously. i blogged about cutting ties with kelvin in a afternoon and guess what, i fucking agreed to go out when he called me later at night that day. see, get what i mean now? it's so hard to resist temptations. but anyway, it has almost been 2 weeks since i last met up with him. and everyone, especially my school girls has been asking me to get him out of my life and just give the hell up on him. yes, mk and ame is right. he's not a good guy and there are plenty better catch out there. i don't know. he's what a girl could ever ask for in a man, other than his infidelity. anyway, i'm definitely giving up. just give me more time okay? after all, he has been part of me for quite a period of time already. and you gotta know, you can't use time as a benchmark when it comes to love.

somehow, darren's casual remark kinda serve a good reminder. amazingly, because we never have common topic. forget about his good looks, i'll never make a party animal my partner. anyway! asshole is back straight after i got John off my back, he loves to be a pain in my ass and i don't know why. mastered the skills i was told, ignore them. it works, life's rather peaceful. but quarrel with someone, whatever. you know, i seriously doubt where the hell do i stand in you, your heart and life. i guess i was just another replacement whereby you could just use me to kill time and stuffs. there are so much that i wanna know and demand the truth but lack of courage to do so. it could be a sign that god wants me to learn this damn sentence once and for all by heart - ignorance is bliss. well, truth and lies are drawn between a very thin line. i really don't wanna know.

i think i wrote quite a lot today. time to end here. will be back real soon, whenever i'm free to pen.

thanks for everything, especially for those birthday wishes and moolahs people. =p

ps: as form of shelter in times of pain and tears, i've decided to put on that facade for good. sorry to say, you all forced me to.

pss: i secretly wish that you'll being reading post. might be too much to ask for. still i hope you still do, secretly.

lesson of the day: you'll never get the best when you compromise. (a word of cautious, not applicable to all situations!)

good luck for the coming exams. god bless my ass. =x

loved on 9:49 PM