Friday, August 15, 2008

Spinning: Runaway - Avril Lavigne
Time: 4.46pm
Mood: fatigue

can you believe it? i have been so freaking busy for 3 consecutive weeks.
i promise you will see me lying on my bed motionlessly soon.

studies, EL training, NBC - work. studies, EL training, NBC.
fuck this cycle man. i totally had no breaks in between can!

and now? more of studies, projects, spanish, EL. and more monthly EL training sessions to come.
blah.
commitments. makes me shit on my pants.
ewww~

it's until recently that i managed to getaway from all my hectic schedule to grab some drinks with ming at Clark Quay on Tuesday night.
i was tipsy. NOT DRUNK.
i noticed the improvement in the threshold of alcohol in my body. =)
definitely deserve some compliment for that.
come to think of it, it has been almost half a year since i made my ass there to drink my night away.

and darren is freaking funny - WHAT! drinking on tuesday night?
me. what's the biggie man. got any problem with that?!
i say, being sober is the last night you wanna do in life.

and no no, don't worry about a thing now honey.
i'm totally fine.
not troubled or vexed or whatever at all negative.
i've come to an enlightenment that life is too precious to be serious all the time.
i'm gonna party like hell once i graduate from advanced diploma.
who needs to lead what-they-called-fulfilling-life?
for sure, i know i don't.

do it, do it well. only give your best.
i'm officially starting work in EL this coming sunday.
do drop by my counter kay?
FUCKING EXCITED.
new phrase of my life.
smell that fresh air, people~

to my surprise, i wasn't feel quite at all sad about leaving NBC.
perhaps, i was too keen about getting a new life, stepping out of my comfort zone.
i'm totally excited about picking up new things, meeting new people, expanding my social circle and gaining a brand new exposures and experiences.
i thought i would like missed that freaking job.
well, the only thing i could think of are those nice baby girls.
i promise i'll visit you all when i'm in town.
and, it brought back all the special moments of him.
from meeting each other to seeing each other exclusively, breaking up and eventually to present.

and.
does it really matter if i changed?
or correcting me that you've never once know me at all?
since your brain is perceiving me that way, i guess there isn't much i can do about turning them all around.
do what you wish, deem what you think is most appropriate.
i straighten out my thoughts.
apparently, everyone changes. along with their life experiences and life lesson.
whether i'm positively or negative charged.
i don't give a fuck about it at all. at least for now.
i'm gonna confess that it stings my heart to hear them coming out of your trap.
but giving much thought, who are we again to judge what's right or wrong.
romance is not my thing, at this point of time. and am definitely not seeking for one.
needless to say about the commitment wise.
you can say i'm cheap, a whore, whatsoever that makes you happy.
i don't give a fuck actually.
i apologize that my beauty is only skin deep kay?
ain't your analogy implying me and kel?

it's okay, i'm hell sure it is.
to each his own. am i damn right?
i know i can't please the world.
i know i can't make the world love me.
i know it's a fact that not everyone loves you for who you are exactly, in fact they
"love" you HELL TOO MUCH that they HAVE to change you to meet their desires.
i don't need people to love me, loving oneself is suffice.
i strongly believe i have no issues with my esteem, so i don't see why i gotta be affected by this. so long i think i'm happy and satisfied with myself. and of course, paying whatever consequences for my actions. i see no problems at all.

don't downplay me, or rather anything in my life.
you will come to a realization that you're a absolute failure.
this is just another hurdle to get over with.
i'm so much stronger and determined that you all losers think.
(applicable to those asses)

okie dokie.
i have to go back to my EL revision.
and do some PM projects.
see you all loves around soon.

ps: EDWARD CULLEN IS SIZZLING HOT! someone get me a vampire boyfriend. =D

loved on 5:20 PM