Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Spinning: Always Be My Baby - David Cook
Time: 9.37am
Mood: refreshed
i fought with marc last night (that lawyer guy i mentioned previously in my post). wanted to be tolerant initially but got really fed up when he started labeling kelvin. i just find it really sick, who are you to decide what kind of relationship is healthy for me and are they right or wrong. when it comes to my love ones, especially kelvin, i would protect them at any expanse.
seriously, it's not about what kind of job you're holding. it's not about how much you've studied. obviously you're all fucked up. don't you just get it that i chose to remain this way because i wanna let kelvin focus on his building his career? commitment is not the thing for us yet. we both are busy and have lots of things to do in life. and most importantly, i know getting back together would add on to kelvin's stress level. i don't want things to turn out like previously, i don't wanna hear him telling me i'm his stress. so now you, as a outsider, telling me this is the biggest mistake of my life?
right, cheng. you're right. kelvin is selfish. he's this and that. but still i wanna say, i've never regretted knowing this man. he's the one who changed me, give me personal growth. i'm here all because of him. my changes are not for him, this is something people need to know and understand.
kelvin ever let me down, am i just gonna condemned him and make sure he's out of my life for good? just because someone make a mistake and you decided you're gonna retrieve your love for good and stop giving this person the love that you have for them? of course not, love is not that way. i love kelvin cause this is him. i love him for he's beautiful, i love him cause he's imperfect, i honour him, even if i don't really agree with the things he do. i honour for he's my man, the one i love. i'll be there for him anytime, whenever he needs me around. i'll give every inch of my heart out to him. it doesn't really matter even at the end of the day, we're still gonna go separate way.
perhaps mei mei is right. i'm just fearful. i wondered if kelvin really mean them, or my skepticalness has actually blinded me. it just feel happy to see him once in while, to be in contact, to be able to hold him, hear his voice, to see sms or phone calls appearing on my phone, kiss him, hearing him calling me baby. of course i hope he really wants me back. anyway, it doesn't really matter that much as long as i can love him this way. i guess this is commonly known as contentedness.
there will be plenty of chances if we're meant to be. =)
loved on 10:01 AM
