Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Spinning: Save You - Simple Plan
Time: 11.26pm
Mood: emotionally drained
i had this customer today. a very refined, friendly man, who bought a set of fragrance gift for his wife. they are celebrating their 10th anniversary today.
i always believe for every thing, person you encounter or meet in life, there's a reason why they are there. to teach you something, to enlighten you, to give you direction.
it took awhile for me to gift wrap his stuffs. so we kinda chatted.
me: may i ask who are you giving this gift to?
him: this is for my wife, we are celebrating our 10th years anniversary today.
me: wow, 10th? you look really young. i reckon you gotten hitched at quite a young age right? anyway, that's really sweet of you.
him: yeah, 10 years. time files. i remember i was 24 and she was 22 when we decided that it's time we should settle down. so what about you? are you married?
me: haha, i'm not quite legal to get married yet. even if i'm allowed, i don't think i will ever wanna get married.
him: why not?
me: i don't know. i guess marriage has devalued in this generation, in this society. it's tough finding someone whom you really can entrust your life to. it seems that people aren't interested in getting serious these days.
him: well, i used to be like you when i was at your age. marriage never came across my mind. all i wanted at that point of time all i wanted was freedom. but guess what, there comes a time when you will feel you rather not have freedom and freedom is actually nothing compared to love. my wife and i are workaholic, we never wanted a child, but now? i'm blessed with 2 lovely boys. yes, things change, we can never say anything do certain. try dating someone, who knows things might just come your way.
me: haha, it's not like i've not dated anyone. but things just go hay-wired and terribly screwed. so, ya. i think i better off alone, for nowat least. saving myself from all the heartbreaks, all the troubles, insecurities, fears and tears.
him: i know you're gonna find someone in time to come, young lady. :) life will make it's way to you. see you around.
so this conversation got me thinking for the whole day. should i say, it's not i don't wanna get someone whom i can call of my own. deep inside me, i yearn to settle down, to be loved and to love. it's just that getting your really heartbroken twice is enough. you can't really tell what's love and relationship like anymore. you don't know if you have anymore faith to stretch. i'm left with not much of myself after going through such emotionally torments. i'm not particularly searching for any man or certain kind of lifestyle. i'm just being myself. i'm tamed down now, no longer interested in any flings or scandalous act. it's all over. the only thing i go for now is serious relationships.
i don't need a established career, i don't think any flashy cars or luxury flats. all i want is love.
loved on 11:50 PM
