Friday, July 24, 2009

Spinning: -
Time: 12.23am
Mood: heartbroken

i wonder why things have to be this way when i love someone wholeheartedly.
i sat down and question myself.
why am in love with this man? why?
what exactly in him did i see in him and made me so attracted to him?
which made me decided to take a leap of faith, to take things to higher level.

perhaps it was too weak to start with that things have to end up this way.
things has to changed, i changed, he changed. it's just different.
it's really sad to see us this way and i really know the situation is really bleak right now.
there isn't much to say, when all the damages have been done.
it's all said and done, what's left?

i wrote him a letter. a letter which has my most inner heart felts in it.
i don't have the guts to it to him and i doubt he will get to receive it in this entire life.
i miss the times where things were really perfect.
where ugliness have not stepped into the picture yet.
where don't even know what was anger about.
where the world belonged to us.
i miss every single thing.
they are all etched to my heart.

the time where we first hugged, we first kiss, we do crazy things, i teased him, i made him confessed, the first movie we watched, the first time we held hands, the first time we frenched and every first time we created.

i love it best when he hugged me to sleep.
i love it best when he will stretch his hands out to reach for mine.
i love it best when he calls me up and complaint about stuffs.
i love it best when he stands up and make the shots.
i love it best when he loves his family.
i love it best when he plays my iphone/ds/laptop/ his laptop and ignores me totally.
i love it best when he calls me baby or dear.
i love it best when i hear his cheeky voice.
i love it best when we stood at changi beach and he held me from behind. cause love couldn't be anymore perfect than that.
i love it best when he took half day off from work, just to get flowers for me. seeing him coming towards me with something behind me just makes me wanna melt.

it's always him that made me wanna stay here.
but has he forgotten all the good times we had and allow the bad ones consumed us?
i did and i regretted. cause i wasted so much time on swallowing myself than creating newer sweeter memories for each other.


perhaps it's me and my naive thinking that things would last like that.
why don't you show me a sign?

loved on 12:43 AM