Time: 8.43pm

Mood: a little depress

it's gonna be a relatively long update.

i have a couple of things to get off my chest.

so bear with me. (i don't know if anyone is still reading this, but anyway, i will continue writing regardless whether there are audiences or not)

i'm current struggling with life now. i came to realize i've been very reliant on some people. i won't particularly say who. i'm feeling very handicapped, like i can get nothing done, nothing is going right. it boils down to the littlest things in life. i don't know where this is going, but i'm breaking into pieces. i was crying when i spoke to mummy just now. i guessed i can only take this as part of those growing pains, i have to go through and get through them.

i'm very unhappy with how things are going in my life right now. extremely. i'm lost, i don't know what to do. i don't know if my baby steps are gonna take me somewhere and to where. work is extremely taxing, i don't know if i can handle this new competitive environment. i know i'm gonna learn and be exposed to many new things. but i don't know if i have the capacity for that. i feel like giving up on my degree. my heart is not at it anymore. i'm no longer proud of what i've earned myself all these years, those recognitions, respect i've gotten through my pains and effort. it seems i've accomplished NOTHING at all.

i don't know. i'm mentally and emotionally drained. i can't handle emotional issues together with the amount of stress i'm facing at work.

but i'll be hanging on tightly, doing and giving my best at all times. i will not look back.